A kind soul

Lately I've been having kind of a rough time. Getting close to the Lord is hard, the devil makes sure of that, but being away from the Lord is harder. I chose my hard, and it’s hard, I wouldn't expect it to be any less. But lately, since my most recent showdown with God, my chronic scowl has been a little more on the extreme side due to thinking so hard and talking so intensively with God. I've set myself up for a plan. Because I am transferring schools, I get a new start, a new fresh beginning, like this first year of college was the trial run and now it’s time to really get down to business. My three main goals, going from least important to most important, are: Healthy Life, Healthy Body, and Healthy Spirit.

Get money, Get fit, and Get God. 

That’s my motto. 

I keep having to remind myself to take it step by step, day by day, moment by moment. I’m getting there. It’s a process, not a one step solution. 

As I travel on this journey to better myself I find it harder and harder to see the kindness in the world. Everyone seems to have so much hurt and pain that that’s all they give out. It’s hard to have your eyes opened by God. I imagine the man in the Bible who was given sight by Jesus and all I want to ask him is what he thought when he first saw the world. Did he see the pain and the hurt and the ugly or did he see the beauty and the kindness and the joy? I've noticed that when the eyes of my heart go from open to close to open to close, I can quickly see the difference. When they're closed, everything is the same shade of gray, nothing really is separated from the next; sins, blessings, curses, prayers, it all fades into one another and becomes one big gray world. 

But when they eyes of my heart are opened, everything is in bright colors and beauty is everywhere. The light is clear, but so is the darkness. 

Nothing is gray matter, everything seems clear, then slowly but surely my eyes will close and everything will fade to gray again, but that’s life, a series of ups and downs. 

But right now, my eyes are fresh and open and looking all around. And this morning, on my way back from a brutal gym time of sweat and snot and congestion (i’m getting a cold) I found a kind soul. My face was fire hot red and my muscles were shaking from such an intense workout and I was sniffling from my growing cold. As I was walking back to my little cute cottage I pass a young man, slightly awkward but sweet looking, I didn't really think much of him as I barely smiled and passed him. 

So I continue walking, worship blasting in my headphones. He walks back towards me and waves me down to get my attention. Removing my earbuds he asks “Hey are you okay?” In a kind gentle voice. Startled I could barely get out “Yea, I just have a cold so my nose is kind of running.....but, thanks.” “Okay, well have a nice day!” “You too” I smile again, still struck that someone could be so kind to a complete stranger like me. It was small and doesn't seem like much but it meant a lot to me, to be noticed.

This kind of simply humanity is what I always find is missing in the world. Why is is so startling, so foreign, so different that a human being would check on another human being. I admire the bravery, the courage of that kind soul who took a moment out of his day, probably stressed about getting to class, whatever his life contains, he took a moment to recognize that I may not be okay and he stepped forward, took a chivalrous action. How brave, how kind, how sweet, how Christ-like, how beautiful. 

“In the end, only kindness matter.”

 You sir, wherever you may be, thank you, thank you for being a kind human being. You are wonderful and I wish I could be more like you in your bravery and selflessness to care for a stranger, a fellow human. You, sir, are admirable and those few seconds of honest and pure kindness mattered a lot to me today. Thank you.