Dear Jasmine (for when you start college)

Let me tell you a little something about the first year of college.

You will make mistakes. Everyone does.

I am just about to finish my first year of college and next year I’m moving in with May at APU, hopefully I will be able to make a better life for myself there. I’m trying. We all are. You have only four more years until you will be in my same position, hopefully with less mistakes up your sleeve. So here are a few little tips I wish I had known before I started college:

1. First off, it is easy to get away with anything. The ability to get alcohol or drugs or break the rules or whatever is way too easy. There's always someone who knows someone who is 21. It is always accessible. You don't even have to look for it. Your friends will do it. It will seem normal. You will want to experience the fullness of college and all it’s crazy extravaganzas. 95% of the time you're breaking some sort of law. (And no one ever wears seat belts) I didn't expect that even at a conservative baptist school there would be so much partying. But college is still college no matter where you go. It’s crazy how easily you can get away with things. This isn’t an excuse to make bad decisions. Be prepared that no matter how sheltered a school is, it is still college and everyone is still trying to figure out what to do with their new unadulterated freedom. Temptation is out there. Strength is in your knowledge. Know what’s out there and you can't be taken off guard.
2. Secondly, bad decisions don’t make you a bad person. You will mess up. You will party a little. You will kiss a few frogs. It happens. Don’t use this as an excuse to make poor decisions but also be aware you will slip sometimes and that doesn’t make you a terrible person. You are human. And you will make mistakes, willingly and unwillingly, drunk and sober, morning and night. Temptation is everywhere.  
3. Thirdly, be single. For crying out loud be single. This is a time to find yourself and who you want to be. It is impossible to try and date someone when you don’t even know who you are yet. Boys don’t really turn into men, although they may look like men, they don’t become men until later on in life. College freshman boys don't suddenly become all grown up the summer after graduation. Big sister tip: wait and go for the older guys. 
4. Fourthly, you will struggle with God. Your faith will tug and pull and there will be highs and lows and you will grow and wilt. You will get lost then found then lost again. You will question everything you have ever come to know or believe in. The devil leaves no stone unturned when tempting you. But in the same way, God leaves no stone unturned when healing you. Stay strong. Your faith is everything. You can fail every test and course you ever take but you can never fail with God. Because in the end. That’s all you’ll have. It will be hard to keep your faith and look towards God and you will fall away. Everyone does. Just remember to go back to Him. You will hurt and you will cry, a lot during this process.
5. Speaking of crying, you think you cried a lot before? You have no idea how many tears you will shed in just your freshman year of college. I don't typically cry, but I had cried more times in just this first year of college then in all my life together. You will stress cry, you will cry tears of sorrow and tears of fear and tears of shame, you will cry tears of laughter and tears of joy. You will also just sometimes cry just because sometimes you need a good cry. Life is overwhelming, crying is the human body’s way of trying to purge out the toxins of the world from your sweet soul. Allow yourself to sit in down in the shower every once in a while and just cry, because life is tough. Especially when you're 18 and trying to figure out when to act like a child and when to act like an adult.
6. Be outgoing and make friends with everyone! Meet new people every day. Everyone is on their own when they start college and everyone wants to go hang out with the cute big eyed, long legged, blondie with the cute giggle and the dorky faces and voices. You are beautiful and your laughter is infectious, so go and infect the world. The more people you meet, the broader range you have to chose from. You want to spread your arms wide then be able to collect a few good friends you do everything with. You’re going to want to have your girls around. But it is still nice to know that you have other friends you can go to if your close friends bug you, because they will. Everyone will bug you.
7. Living so close to other people will bug you. They will touch your things, they will take your clothes and they won’t wash them or put them back and you may never see your favorite shirt ever again. They will sleep in your bed and make you sleep on the couch. They will overstep their boundaries because just like you, this way of living will be new to them. And not everyone is a true friend. Remember, who ever you surround yourself with, you will become like them in 5 years. So when you meet someone and you’re considering hanging out with them, think, do I want to be like them in five years? Just because you like hanging around someone doesn't mean you want to become like them. Keep four quarters not a hundred pennies. Surround yourself with people you encourage and inspire you. Be kind to everyone but keep close those who are going to be good and true friends. This is so every important.
8. Also important, I am not going to judge you on your mistakes you make. So call me. Whether you're drunk and at a party or someones house or you're stranded somewhere because some “friends” abandoned you, or whether you just feel like shit and you want to vent and cry and need to tell someone what’s going on, no matter what, call me. I want you to know that you can tell me literally anything. That's what sisters are for. They are there to tell everything to. They are there to be the person who will never judge you or make you feel worse for making mistakes. Big sisters are there to guide you. They are there to beat up whoever tries to lay a finger on you. They are there to back you up when you stand up for yourself. They are there to cuddle and cry into when the whole world is after you. If you are just stressed or tired or need a hug, call me. If you made a mistake and you feel guilty about it and don't feel like you can talk to anyone about it, call me. When in doubt, call me. That’s what big sisters are for. So call me. Happy or sad, call me!

This time in your life is about change. You will find yourself growing up faster than you can take a breath. But just like the song from Spirit, remember who you are. 

Jasmine, you are so unique. You balance on a fine line between this world and the next. You see things no one has ever seen and you experience life in an entirely different way. You understand the world for what it is and you see it for what it could be. You are kind and sweet and know what it feels like to be scared. 

Something I have come to learn in this past year is that God doesn’t allow us to get hurt or to feel scared because we make mistakes but rather for an entirely different reason. We make mistakes and we get hurt, we feel the terrible and we experience the worst, but not so that we can just simply know and experience the world so we can be a better person. 

But rather it is those experiences, those times of trial where we push ourselves to become strong not for ourselves but for others. 

You are sensitive so you know how to treat sensitive people. 

You cry so you know how to comfort others when they cry. 

You get scared because this would is fucking scary. IT’S TERRIFYING! 

There’s danger around every corner and tragedy is always ready to strike. 

You get scared and you see the dangers of the world so you can protect people.

But most of all, you are so strong so you can make others strong.

Like I mentioned before, knowledge is power, knowledge is strength. You know the true fears of the world, the true darkness that lies beneath the mask of the world and you know how to deal with it. Your deep and rooted moral compass is something I wish I had. Your gut feelings are truer than what the world, including your friends, will tell you. Trust it. And when in doubt, call me. 

Good luck Weenie,

Your loving big (yet shorter) older sister, Summer